Saturday 26 February 2011

Home Thoughts, From Abroad

[With deepest apologies to Robert Browning.]

Oh to be Ireland,
Now that general election's there,
And whoever wakes in Ireland,
Sees, some morning, unaware,
That the lowest of lowly incompetents and the general inertia and gloom,
Have led us to an uncertain future/impending doom*,
While the journalists sing 'we told you so!'
In England - now!

And after them, the other Europeans follow,
And Vanity Fair builds, sympathy sounding hollow!
Hark, where yet another cliché-spouting reporter
Leans towards us and scatters Schadenfreude
Images of tombstones and planes - sobbing mammies in their wake -
That's the 24 Hour News guy; he repeats each statistic twice over,
Lest you should think he never could recapture
The first gabillion times he mentioned the fact that in the boom Ireland had the most helicopters per capita!
And though the election candidates seem tarred with the same brush,
All will be gay when the government gets the push
And the ECB takes over the little children's dower**
Far brighter than trusting our own shower*** ....

*Depending on which political party you listen to
** What's left of it after buying all the banks' bad debts
***I love the fact that TripAdvisor includes 'Áras an Uachtaráin/Home of the President' as slang.

No comments:

Post a Comment